While i was waiting on a friend for lunch, i was sat outside Starbucks on a park bench. I was in my own world with my iPod plugged in and staring at the ground.
And I made a couple of important observations.
1. Shoes tell alot about you
Well, i stared at the ground because i felt fat and ugly and my self-esteem was non-existant. .. Anyway.. i watched many feet shuffle by and God the variation! There were hobos with their dug-out-of-the dumpster shoe tied together with string; the obviously tranny-woman with size 11 heels, and the obligatory cool do-it-all Japanese shoes with GPRS, 3G, USB, SMS, MMS, WAP, RFID, MP3 technology. Are you more of a Hotomi-san or a homo-san?
2. There are a lot of pigeons.
I saw one pigeon flying towards a spot on the ground. Next thing you know a fucking million of them come flying out from the gutter and descend upon that one spot. I sat there confused thinking it was a solar eclipse all the while shielding myself from being shat on by the pigeons. How do they communicate? How does that one pigeon command the rest of them? Maybe he is… The One.
3. Clouds are rude.
I looked up at the sky and saw a nipple. I turned to my right and i saw a saggy tit. I was offended.
Just look at the menacing picture of the cloud! What do you see? I see a limp dick, a saggy nipple, a clitoris, and a tongue. The next time you go out with your child, shield their eyes from the sky. It’s plain old rude. I’ll have a word with Jesus the next time i see him.