Hell Hole

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get out of this “feeling” I have about myself. I’ve lost a lot of hope in myself and beginning to doubt my abilities to succeed in life. I’m lost and have no direction. I used to wonder how can people not have a clear vision of what they want to do in life, and now I know how… Lol!

It’s funny really. I was the girl with a lot of ambition, I wanted to be a rockstar or a kickass clinical psychologist! Like in the movies!

Now I’m just unsure -_- it doesn’t help that I have to “make money” while I’m at it.. Lol!

Wish I could go somewhere overseas to study and get started all over again! In a foreign land! Haha!

I wish, but I don’t have the finances…and I’m not that smart to score a scholarship! People only give money to the smart ones!

3.6 is not 4.0 and my extra curricular activities aren’t that impressive! Lol! I’m
not in toastmasters or Aiesac (sp?)!
Hahahaha! The only impressive thing I did was become president of ADPSC! Haha! fun times!


Life sucks like that…

I tell myself I’m in an “in between” stage where I need to figure out what I want to do in life! The clock is ticking and I really need to find that thing that I want in life!

So many opportunities… So little time!

Should I join some kinda big companies that hire people based on entrance exams? You know I love ace-ing exams! Haha!

Or start up companies, or media agencies? Or still persevere aplying jobs in other countries? Hahah! Or go study?

I need to revise on my statistics if I wanna study masters in psychology again! It’s been too long since I’ve ever calculated anything other than media/PR values -_-

It’s a scary world out there like the big scary ocean and I’m one little fish with so much to offer, but just don’t know where to start!

Little fish

Women, know this.

1. Our eyes wander. Permanently.

It doesn’t matter if we are 30, or 60. We look. We stare. We undress them with our eyes. Let’s face it, a man who tells you he’s not staring at the slutty girl in the back of the room is lying. You see Grandpa Joe’s shifty eyes? Yeah, that’s not his glaucoma. He’s actually looking at your friend’s boobs.

2. You say: “A slept with B and now C is mad with A cause C loves A”; We hear: “…..”

Those love hexagons you seem to relish knowing about? A who loves M who is best friends with D who went out with K who’s cousin is B who slept with A and E although being married to F? Our man brains can’t cope with all that information. We may nod, say “Oh really?” “That’s terrible” “Uh-huh” and pretend to know what you’re on about… the reality is we hear static. Good uncomplicated straight forward static.

3. You must smell nice. Everywhere.

Womanly scent. You need one. If you’re not lucky enough to be born with a natural pheromone laden scent that smells of spring time flower, fake it. We like a girl to smell nice. That’s why we go out with you and not Jim the mechanic. That’s why scientists invented perfume. That’s why there’s special neutral pH for sensitive skin soap to wash your hoo-haa. The last thing we want is to undress you and smell all sorts of funk from the 1900s. Or worse, blue cheese. P.S – Shaving/waxing would be good too. If we want to floss our teeth, we’ll just stick to dental floss, thank you.

4. We have impossibly fragile egos.

Underneath our alpha male demeanor, behind those pecs, lies a boy wanting to wear Daddy’s pants. Say the wrong thing and our ego cocoon shatters. We begin to doubt ourselves. We begin to lose confidence. We turn to alcohol. We end up drinking three too many bottles of malt whiskey. We drive the car. We crash into a ravine. We die. See how it all ends if we don’t get our daily boost of ego massage? Let us take the lead. If we’re bad in bed, tell us we’re good in bed. A little white lie goes a long way.

5. We are vacant up there.

Despite the degrees and PhDs and the seemingly witty banter that seems to flow out of the best of us, we are essentially men. And we have man brains with a 50% allocated space to think about nothing-ness. Give us a chair, a window and we can entertain ourselves. We’ll probably sit down, stare outside and space out. So women, don’t expect too much. If you want witty witty witty banter and wisecracks all the time 24/7, get a mirror and a voice modulator and play pretend.

6. We really don’t care about your weight issues.

You ask us if you look fat today. You tell us you’ve put on 5 pounds. Your jeans feel tighter. Look, we really don’t care. If we did care, we would notice it and tell you that you’ve put on 5 pounds. So don’t get all insecure, we still love you to still be with you. Even though you look like a whale now.

7. We don’t bitch. We say things like they are.

Look let’s get one thing straight. Women bitch, not men. Bitching consists of cattiness. E.g. Sandra walks in the room with an unflattering dress. Women, “Look at Sandra. What is she wearing? Is it that dress from Topshop? Well it looks like she was dressed by her blind aunt. That cut does nothing for her figure. Or maybe it’s all that cookie she’s been binge eating on. Has she got a problem in her life that needs addressing? Maybe her husband’s cheating. That’s why she’s resorted to eating to fill the void in her heart…. etc”. Men, “Wow, Sandra’s ugly as fuck today”.

8. Take care of us. Like our mothers did.

Inside everyman is still that little boy who needs to be taken care of. That’s why some of us enjoy going back home to see our mothers so much because they cook the food we like, do the washing, and when we’re sick they take care of our boo-boos. Take heed, women. We like nothing more to come home from work to a house smelling like our favourite dish, eat and have you wash our dishes and serve us our beverage of choice while we sit and read the papers. The good old traditional ways of the 1920s. Do you see why there are less divorces then there are now? Or maybe we should just marry our maids. Just a thought.

You know your diet is sorta working when…

You can finally fit into a dress you bought yonks ago which you’ve outgrown a bit, then now it fits perfectly! LOL! And I got a perfect bra to fit too! From the Triumph warehouse sale…

I measure my fitness success by wearing clothes I love but can’t fit anymore. I terror! More protein meal replacement + gym tmr yeay! 🙂 I love gym (*psyching self*)

On another note…I got a MNG skirt today to match a pink top for a work event. I am mengada because I use the event as an excuse! HAHAHAHA! Well, I had to wear pink and pink matches khaki colour better than black right? Here’s my test outfit:

Thanks to MyLaineyBoo’s rave on this shaved iced concoction, I have fallen in love with Snowflakes! Had my third one again last weekend. hehe! Every time I eat it, it reminds me of how she describes the ice and cincau and how unfattening it is! HAHAHA!

My blog posts are so shallow. Sue me!

Day 31

Day 31 is tmr. Which marks the last day of the email coaching from the Daily Muscle! (i think) Lol! Acc to him, I will feel the difference in my body if I followed his instructions! Hahahhaa!

So fail man. Well at least I’m conciously looking at what I eat and drink. Exercising more and yea, a few skirts and pants are kinda loose! Ahhahah!

I wake up and look at my naked self and it looks nice now, hahah until I put on my glasses… Then it’s like… Er…

I do feel the difference I guess, but not so much la because I didn’t follow the program to the last detail! I need to go gym more often!

I think I am alright with the less rice, but I still eat a lot of oily food. Lunch time is a bit hard to watch what I eat as I usually eat like at Chinese shops where they have rice rice and more rice! Hahaha! But trying la okay?

You know how long I never eat educated Nasi lemak??? How I want to chow down the whole packet! But I choose stir fried Kai Lan instead -_- or spinach soup from the yong tau Fu shop… Or make my own dinner…

Mercato’s salad from their salad bar is quite nice! Ready to eat somemore! More healthy choices place to eat from. Now if only they had ham slices that we can add in…

Below are my home made food that I made last week! Can’t believe its been almost a month since I started on this fat losing game. HAHA, here’s to more days of eating healthy! *toast*

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