Life Updates

I think most of y’all know that I met Sidney on Friendster. But we really officially met at MPH Bookstore at Sunway Pyramid. After Econs class at CIMP, we had some after class meeting, I was late, so he said he’ll be at MPH wearing blue. I forgot what I was wearing. We ate at a mamak nearby afterwards. It was awkward af. But I’m glad we met. Thanks for choosing me every day and doing life with me, @sidneyng 😘 Happy Birthday! via Instagram October 18, 2020 at 07:24PM

Life Updates in Motion

I am a very easy going person. I get along fine with most people all my life since I was young. Blame the libra social butterfly that I am. I love being with people and is most happyy around people. I had many friends growing up, primary school, secondary school. There was a little bump during my college years when I lost friends who I cared about over some things I still wonder if it was totally my fault or maybe that was when I first realized that not everyone will love you the way you love them. It scarred me forever I think. It probably changed the way I relate to other people indefinitely and maybe that affects how people relate to me.

I realized I’m always at the side of being cautious with friends after that. I overthink if I’m being too annoyingly friendly to people then I start retreating and stop being friendly. I stop asking them out to makan, group chats die a slow death, I stop messaging and start just observing from afar (aka just stalking on Facebook and IG if they update, if not they are just gone forever) because I always think that nobody really wants to be that close to me.

I guess it’s like self sabotaging, cos then the other party thinks I don’t really care anymore and stop doing their part. I said I had many friends growing up, but I never had that closeness I seek in some friends or at least that’s what I perceive my relationship with other people is.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I have friends who care about me. I hope at least I can genuinely count on a few people who will be there for me when I really need them.
I work hard to maintain them, but it sometimes some people slip away and I grief for these lost relationships because I genuinely thought that it was mutual. To comfort my mental health, I always tell myself that “people always leave” (Quote Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill!). No one is going to love you forever or maybe they were friends with you because it was useful to them at that point in their lives. Which is fine, I guess most friendships are built on that as s priorities change. Or maybe they were never as close as I perceived them to be anyway.

(If you are still reading, this continues on comments)

Life Updates

Us doing what we do best. Spend all our paycheck on food. Covid got us eating like there’s no tomorrow. Because, ya know maybe there isn’t and this is it, and better be happy. Lolz Gotta get back to 2 expensive meals per week, @sidneyng. And geez I need a haircut. That fringe is gross. via Instagram September 14, 2020 at 01:29AM

Life Updates

Always sad when one of your colleague who you randomly message all the time leaves the company! Now I gotta find more people to talkcocksingsong with. Bye @theonthai! Good luck in your new place!

Also one of those rare days I’m in office for a discussion. Planning a remote workshop is hard work. All that things you gotta do to engage them and make them add those post it ideas remotely 😑. We can do this, @nouveakq! via Instagram August 28, 2020 at 08:10PM

Life Updates

Who knew we could be co-workers? #longesthoneymoonever via Instagram August 13, 2020 at 01:31PM
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